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The Power Of Solitude Is Self Care!

The Power of Solitude Is Self Care.

Being alone can be a potent form of self care. When we are forced to be alone, our discomfort can be intense. Why is that? Since this time of coronavirus pause, or shelter in place, there could not be a better time to be grateful for your health. Feel the goodness of your health and be grateful that we are here together having this sometimes wildlife experience.

When I first started thinking about my own self-care it meant so many different things to me and I’m sure you are thinking of getting a facial treatment or a massage, a manicure or pedicure or some other beauty treatment. 

The human species are naturally social, because we are connected in so many ways. Getting together for dinner, drinks, celebrations, soaking up the atmosphere of laughter and joy.

So when was the last time you were truly alone doing nothing. How long have you gone without texting, listening to your favorite podcast, scrolling through your emails, playing a game or taking pictures to post to Instagram or on Facebook.

When we are forced to be alone, our discomfort can be intense. Or when we’re forced to stay in one place, due to immense fear, how it affects our mood, mentality, and even being around someone you don’t really like. Why is that?

The Power of Solitude Is Self Care.

With this type of staying place, most individuals resent it, becomes twitchy with their thoughts of fear, inadequacy, and hopelessness.


From my years of life experiences, I have learned to look at solitude, slowing down, as a time to connect with creativity, productivity and happiness. I get to read and really absorb the words. At times I even find my alone time as self care. 

I get to hear my mind, my alone time offers me a form of relaxation and stress reduction, there are no demands for my attention, and I don’t have to talk…. Joy!!

As you can note I am one of those individuals that love, truly love alone time. It is what keeps me sane….

During the time of coronavirus lock down we realized how much we need to carve out times of solitude for our own self care. If you find yourself getting uneasy or stressful with all this time to do nothing on your hands here are some things you can do to ease that pressure. 

It may restore the inner balance you unconsciously crave.

Self Care Can Start At Any Time

Massage as part of Self Care.

We are constantly bombarded by what’s expected of us, how we should look, the things to say, what we’re wearing and so much more. Solitude can be your freedom to seek and get to know what you believe and know to be your truth. Help you to become a better partner, friend, daughter, son, father and mother. 

When you’re alone you get a break from the concept of yourself that people have placed upon you. You get the chance to go over your own thoughts and feelings.

It is the start of your awareness that leads to the need for your own self care.

How About Embracing Idle Moments

Sometimes when we have some time on our hands between schedule time, we think we have to fill it doing something.

Idle moments can be very productive. Research shows that when you daydream, you’re allowing your brain to make connections or have insights that aren’t possible when you are going full speed ahead. That’s when we have our eureka moments!!

These Alone Time Can Be Just What You Need

Imagine you’re facing a major decision or life choice, or want to quit your job, or start your own business. This time of slowness may be the best way for you to tap into your own inner wisdom.

So when you are anxious have some compassion with yourself. Treat yourself with some tenderness that can calm the mind and help you to think more clearly.


When you sit in silence let your thoughts float through your consciousness and take notes. Writing can help you to stay focus and allow you to hone in on the ideas you might not have considered. Handwriting helps you to engage your brain more deeply than when you’re typing of just thinking of your issue in your mind alone.

Being alone gives you the time to look at the big picture, on your values and your imagination of the future you’d like. This will help you to clarify whatever issues you’re presently facing.

Define What Self-Care Means To You

I recently read an article published in Women’s Health magazine that asked the question to its readers ‘Define What Self-Care Means To You’, and they also referred to Audre Lorde’s book ‘A Burst of Light’, a Black woman facing death. She had cancer. It stopped me dead in my track. Thoughts of what self-care meant to me was completely different from what I was reading.

The article also said, ‘Self-Care Is Also A Form of Resistance’ WOW…. What I was discovering here were never in my thoughts. I was learning that there were so many different meanings of the term self-care that was constantly evolving and updated for better and for worse.

Share your stories, ask questions or make comments about this topic. View other's stories.

What I totally agreed with was that the word was about self-preservation, in a world that’s structured to oppress people, Black women, and preventive care. About being able to truly see ourselves and be about our individual selves.

Here’s what I want to get across, we from the Black and Brown community especially we women of color have lived by the creed of we cannot sit down and rest because we must work twice as hard to be respected and rewarded. That statement has impacted our health in major ways.

So, starting today let's view self-care as an active practice of taking care of self, creating a space in your life to really get to know who you really are and what YOUR purpose and wants are, and what you require in order to function at your best, each and every day.

Start prioritizing our own wellness, as we age gracefully.

Take Your Time Easing Into Aloneliness

The word aloneliness is a word written about and discussed in a science article found here about Dr. Robert J. Coplan, a physiologist, from Carleton University, Ottawa, Canada that “introduce a new psychological construct, labeled aloneliness, conceptualized as the negative feelings that may arise from the perception that one is not getting to spend enough time alone.

In essence they are saying it is a direct correlation between the time we spend alone with ourselves and our general wellbeing. This type of self care may make you feel uncomfortable at first, but I find and hopefully you will also find it get easier with time. 


Start by waking up earlier than usual and just watch the beauty and majestic of a sunrise, then gradually increase your time alone looking forward to that time as your renewal in both body and mind.

Know that now is the best time to be grateful for everything in your life, even your high blood pressure - joking… the slowness of our pace, your family, your friends, your home, the fresh air we breathe, and home cooked meals.

So get comfortable, get out your journal, immerse yourself into your own mind and jot down your thoughts in your journal, even if at first you’re filled with fear!!! These are your thoughts and feelings and a form of cleansing and releasing. 

Do email at and tell me of how you're enjoying your own company and journaling!!!

Return To Coronavirus From Self Care

Have A Great Story About This Topic? Define What Self-Care Means To You!

Do you have a great story about this? I once thought self-care were manicures and massages or taking a bubble bath – thought it can include them, is not wrong but its not quite right either. Self care can mean having a moment, but is it the right one?

Your greatest resistance could be elevating your wellness. Define here what self-care means to you, and the ways you feed your mind, body and soul, and Share it!

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